Islamic Way of Parenting

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It goes without saying that today’s children are tomorrow’s parents and will form the society and the nation of tomorrow.

Whatever children are taught today, they will apply this tomorrow to run the affairs of the society. These children will become politicians, clerics, businessmen, professors, teachers, judges, lawyers, engineers, doctors and leaders of tomorrow. It will not be out of place to say that great nations and great societies are formed at the hands of great parents.

Raising children of character is a long term process and demands serious responsibility from parents. This is one of those essential facts of life that demands time, attention, study, thinking, exemplifying, role modeling, and sharing experiences with other parents and scholars. While having children may be “doing what comes naturally,” being a good parent is much more complicated.

The negligence on part of the parents in providing the essential education can result in severe consequences not only for parents themselves but also for the children and the society as well.

The increased crimes, corruption in the society and deviated behaviours observed in this world can be mainly attributed to the parents of yesterday. We cannot expect to change the current miseries of the Islamic world without first raising one generation on the right direction. The next generations will follow the path of this rightly guided generation without much difficulty.

One of the important questions faced by parents of today is how to best raise their child with strong beliefs and great character? Does a child learn from advice or from practice or from both?
It is clear from the holy Quran that we cannot bring a positive change in the society without making serious efforts.

The holy Quran says:

Surely, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own condition
Holy Quran 13:11

Allah has never changed a favor which He has conferred upon a people until they change their own condition
Holy Quran 8:53

And that man shall have nothing but what he strives for and that his striving shall soon be seen
Holy Quran 53:39-40

To this effect, we must learn the methods and techniques of addressing issues when raising children of high characters. Our holy prophet Muhammad (peace on him and his family) have
provided numerous guidelines and practical role models to raise our children.

It is important to note that the effective child training starts from the time of selecting a spouse and goes all the way to the time when child reaches adolescent.

The Prophet of Islam said:

“Lucky is the one whose foundation of his virtue has been made in the womb of the mother and unlucky is one whose wickedness had its rudiments in the mother’s womb as well”[1]

According to one saying of Holy Prophet Muhammad (AS):

“Truly,every one of you is a guardian and responsible -the ruler is the guardian over his people and responsible for them, the man is the master of his household and responsible for them, the woman is the mistress of her home and children and responsible for them. Indeed, all of you are guardians and answerable of your duties”

Understanding one’s responsibilities is vital for a successful life. A responsible mother and a responsible father must know what Islam demands from them regarding their children.The parents make important decisions for their children right from the day one.

Selecting good names, providing a peaceful home, selecting a good school, providing a learning environment, providing healthy food, developing friendship with true Muslims, teaching good manners, teaching daily prayers and Quran are just few to name.

References

[1] Bihar al-Anwar, Vol 77, Page 115-133.